Looking Back

You know what’s crazy?

A year ago I was flying to New York for work. I’d just gotten a new gig and we were heading to NYC to check out the stores I would be supporting.

Today I’m in New York again… for a different job. On the plane ride – admittedly after I finished my book – I started thinking about the past year. About what’s different. About what’s the same. And how all of it has happened in the blink of an eye.

When I look around me, it feels as though everyone has changed more than I have. People have moved up. They’ve moved on. Some are starting over – making choices to go back to school or making choices to quit it all and begin again. (How brave!) Friends are getting engaged, married, and having babies… and not remotely in that order. I find all of those things equally brave.

In the past year I’ve been able to let go of some things I didn’t think I’d get past. I’ve found out so much more about myself. I even think I’m starting to embrace the person I’ve become. Why does no one tell you that it would take about thirty years with yourself to start feeling okay about it? Or did they… and I just couldn’t see it happening?

What about the things that I have blindly tried and accepted? Whole 30, a yoga retreat, handlettering, two new jobs, a new house, half marathons, and home improvement like crazy.

I’m with an amazing boyfriend – someone that I am so happy to wake up next to every day. Someone that I’m bummed I don’t get to wake up to when I’m in a different city chasing travel and experiences. Someone I wish I experienced everything with.

Don’t worry – he often reminds me that I’m my own person. And how cool is that? How brilliant is it to find someone so supportive and trusting in our growth both individually and together?

The past year has been less than perfect, but looking back it is far more rose colored than I thought at the time. As it was happening I was struggling at times. There were occasions where I was unsure that I could get out of bed. Days where I questioned everything I was doing and who I have become. Isn’t that crazy? The mind is wild and unforgiving.

And yet it’s my mind. The one that got me from 2016 New York to 2017 New York. While we don’t always get along, I’m so pleased. So thankful. And so glad you’ve joined me on this ride.

✌🏽

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3 thoughts on “Looking Back

  1. Lindsey Mayfield says:

    This is such a great reflection on the year you’ve had. Sometimes I forget to pause, take a breath, and think about how far I’ve come instead of how far I still want to go. Thanks for sharing 🙂

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